103: Goals, Procrastination & Overwhelm: The Women We Have Become with Nicole Liloia

“I think a lot of times part of the reason we’re able to self-sabotage so easily is we really don’t own our goals. We don’t really own that picture of what we want our life to look like. We kind of keep it vague. As a result, we can’t really create that process to make changes because we don’t give ourselves any sort of timeline or specific picture of what we’re working towards.” This week’s episode of Women In-Depth we speak with Nicole Liloia, Business Coach and Strategist enlightening us on the career, business and life burnout so many women deal with on a constant basis. We have unknowingly become experts at sabotaging ourselves; whether in our careers, or personal lives. We will discuss several ways we sabotage, how to notice it and what to do in response to create a richer and more fulfilled life.   Nicole Liloia earned her Master’s in Social Work at Columbia University before beginning a career in the non-profit sector. Nicole is both a life coach and a trained therapist. Now her passions are helping women entrepreneurs make more money and achieve their goals.   Nicole began this path after a volunteer trip to Venezuela after suffering from burnout in her 9-5. Upon coming home Nicole began working at various part-time jobs and ended up starting her own practice only to fall back into the rigid 9-5 lifestyle she was trying to escape. She realized her own self-sabotage with this repetition and decided that she wanted to help other women entrepreneurs stop wasting time and start making more money.   When Nicole is not busy helping her clients end their self-sabotaging ways she enjoys entrepreneurship, making women wealthier, Apothic Wines, and a good Taco Tuesday!  To keep up with Nicole Liloia:  https://nicoleliloia.com/   https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicoleliloia/  https://twitter.com/nicoleliloia   References Mentioned:  Assess Align Action: The Boss Guide to Goal Getting by Nicole Liloia  In this Episode, Dr. Viado and Nicole Liloia discuss: 

• Self-sabotage; procrastination, shiny-object syndrome, overwhelm and being busy. 
• Patterns and how to learn and grow from them.  
• Setting clear goals.  
• Putting plans into action. 

Time Stamps:  2:43 – Hi Nicole and welcome!  5:30 – Lack of control and self-sabotage creeps in  10:35 – Procrastination.  15:30 – Procrastination or a pattern?  22:24 – When is it too much- overwhelm and always being busy  25:12 – Decision fatigue – forgetting the decisions you made.   29:49 – Noticing what is going on and getting a support system.   31:21 – Don’t fall prey to avoidance  32:40 – Start to get clear on what you want.  Quotes:   3:17 “Yes absolutely, I think when you have a business it really is so tied into your personal life, or even a career you love, or a job you love. You know I think everything can get tied in together so no matter where sabotage comes up personal, or business or work or career it all affects each other anyway.”   7:15 “…I didn’t know what I wanted. I had no clarity. Then when I did setup my business you know I think the thing is actually I recreated the 9 to 5 world because I set it up where it was really rigid… I had accidentally gone back to that and I think that, self-sabotage is really repeating those patterns and not even noticing it. Having no awareness of it not being present or mindful in our choices.”  13:02 “Really break it down; I think sometimes we give ourselves huge goals. It wasn’t like one week I decided I’m leaving my job and the next week I was like I’m going to go away. I’m going to go leave the country… I gave myself a deadline and then even months before the deadline I started making other plans.”  15:46 “Well one, if you know your friends are tired of you talking about the same thing. If you see them start to change the subject quickly because you’ve had the same conversation a million times.”  18:21 “I think it is what we’ve been talking about it takes work to make change. It’s a process and we kind of hope there’s always a quicker, faster cure out there. Or something else grabs our attention.”  22:34 “A lot of us are really high achieving, perfectionistic women and I think that deep down we know when it’s real busyness and it’s also an excuse to avoid something. So, I think just kind of pay attention to your inner voice, but I then think the other piece that this ties into for those of us that are high achieving and perfectionistic is that we want to only do something when we can do it perfectly.”  30:39 “Making sure you’re getting accountability thinking about taking some time to journal or process… Thinking about other times you made big decisions or changes and they turned out okay. Scheduling it into your calendar and doing check-ins.”